There was a very nice, mild mannered man who would come visit me at one of the clubs I worked at. He was a large man with very hairy ears, sweet eyes, and a kind demeanor. He was polite and would pay well for dances if you would lick his ears while you danced.
He’d say “you remember what I like?”
I’d say “yes”
He’d say “can you do that?”
I’d say “it depends….”
He’d ask “on what?”
I’d say “whether or not I’m the first girl you’ve danced with today.”
“You are.” he’d say.
I’d look around to see if any other strippers were hanging close by. I was quite skeptical and wasn’t sure I could trust him. When I didn’t see anyone else near him, I’d take the chance and take him back for dances.
His ears weren’t smelly or anything. They were bumpy and hairy but at the end of the day they were just ears. Still, after doing dances with him twice, I stopped dancing with him because I was beginning to suspect that he wasn’t exactly being honest with me about how many other girls had done the ear licking before me.
“I swear” he said one night after I’d spotted him sitting with a blue haired girl on his lap when I first started my shift. I hadn’t seen them go back for dances and she was no longer sitting with him but I still didn’t trust it. “I even washed ‘em with soap before I came here” he said.
“So nobody else had their tongue in your ear at all today?”
“Nobody else” he said.
I gave him a sideways glance and made an excuse to run off.
“I swear they’re clean!”
Yeah, and I’m a virgin.