Strippers with Bad Eyesight


“Is that him?” the girl next to me asked, squinting hard to see across the room.  We were standing in the DJ booth looking out at the crowd.


“My customer.  You know the guy.  He always comes to see me on Thursdays.”  She leaned her petite body forward as if the two inches would make a difference.  Black curls hung over her shoulders upon her tan skin.

“I don’t think that’s him.” I said.  While the man resembled him from a distance, I could clearly see that this was not the guy she was looking for.

“Need glasses, huh?” the DJ asked.

“Oh yeah.  Badly.  I can’t see three feet in front of me.”

“So then wear glasses!  You’ll still be sexy.”

“I do own a pair.  There’s just one problem” she explained, giggling.  She touched the bridge of her nose with her index finger.  “There’s nothing to hold them up.”

As a girl with some Italian roots, I’ve never had to worry about my nose not being enough to hold up a pair of glasses.  I knew nothing of the problem that this beautiful Asian girl was experiencing.  “How about contacts?”

“I’m just in between insurances right now.  But yeah, I’m gonna get some contacts.  Until then, I guess I better get some tape.”  She giggled again, pretending to tape a pair of glasses to her face.

It’s fairly common for strippers to be “in between insurances”.  This would not be the first time I’d encounter a dancer with poor vision.

“I COULDN’T SEE YOU!”  I overheard Evelyn shouting at a patron, one night.  The man was always friendly to me whenever I spoke with him but tonight, he was quite upset.

“I’ve been here for an hour and you’ve done nothing but ignore me!”

“What don’t you get?  I COULDN’T FUCKING SEE YOU!”

“But you were looking right at me!” he argued.  I didn’t want to intrude on their privacy so I walked away.

Later that night, she brought it up in the dressing room.  “I came in just for you.  I was smiling at you when you were on stage!” she imitated the guy.  “I don’t know why he thought I could see him.”

“How bad is your eyesight?” I asked, throwing my stripper clothes back into my bag and pulling out my street clothes.

“I can’t see past the edge of the stage.  That’s why I just smile and wink at everyone.”

“That’s dangerous!  You should get glasses.”

“I have them.  I just don’t wear them here.  They aren’t very sexy.”

“You can pull it off, I’m sure” I smiled at her.

“Nah.  It’s better I keep the one pair I have in my car.”

I breathed a sigh of relief.  “Maybe that is a good idea until you get another pair.”


Samantha was on stage when she spotted the gentleman who had been coming to see her for the past few weeks. He sat at the bar, looking up at her in admiration, his eyes sparking and one side of his smile rising.  He was dressed up this time, a collared shirt with his white hair slicked back.

What a surprise, Samantha thought. All dressed to impress!  On a slow night like this night, she was delighted to see that he’d taken the time to dress up and come visit her.

“BOB!” she yelled, making her way off the stage.  He opened his arms and she ran into them for a hug.  “It’s great to see you!  How are you?”

“Not bad” the man said.  “How about you?”

“I’m good.  I didn’t expect to see you on a Monday.  How’s everything with the business?”

“All is going well.  Would you like a drink?” he offered.


The two sat at the bar talking for a while before deciding to head back for some private dances.  Samantha smiled at him and then stood up, putting her butt in his face and wiggling it, Bob’s favorite thing.

“I love your butt” he said.  “The rest of you is gorgeous too”.

“Thanks, Bob.  You’re looking very handsome yourself, today.  You look great all dressed up”.

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

She wiggled her butt again for him.

“This Bob guy…  He likes a lot of the same things I like.”

Confused, Samantha stepped back and looked at the man.  “What?”

“Look”, he began.  “I’m not who you think I am.  I’m not Bob.  I’m actually Jack.”

“OH MY GOD!  I’M SO SORRY!”  Sam knew her face was turning bright red with embarrassment.

“I really liked how you ran into my arms.  You were so excited to see me so I just went with it.”

“I’m sorry!” She said again.

“Please, sweetie.  Don’t apologize.  I had a wonderful time with you tonight.  Thank you.”

He reached for her hand and pulled it to his lips.  He gently kissed it and said, “Goodnight” before he headed out the door.

The real Bob showed up later.  “Hey, Sam!  The REAL BOB is here looking for you.”

I watched my friend blush a bit as she examined him a little more closely this time to make sure.  She turned and looked at me with a silly grin and a head nod, as if to say “Yep!  This is the real Bob.”


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